Creative Cave

I read a post today that kind of felt like it was fanning the ember's in my heart. You know like when a fire is low but the ember's are still there ready to light up nice and bright all it news is a little fuel and little fanning. Well Jen Lemen has a post up today about what her creative cave looks like and I love it! I don't really have one set mode I go into but I'm going to think about this today and see what I com up with. Maybe I do... but either way I think now is the time to bring about change in a creative way. Time to honor and listen to the gentle and not so gentle nudging of my heart. I wonder what it's saying? I can wait to hear what others creative caves look like.

Thinking out loud

Today I'm going to pretend that it's only me that reads this and leak out a deeper irrational part of me. The reason that at times I "hold my cards close to the chest". Cause you never know who's peeking over your shoulder, right? kidding;-P

Sometimes I find people listen too closely to what I say. For a moment taking it all in. Wondering how I work, like they are trying to figure me out. Then there's always that moment when the vale lifts and the judgements start. It's inevitable I realize. Part of human nature. But I don't like feeling exposed to that. Making it hard for me to open up and work through my thoughts and feelings. Sometimes I wish people would remember what I've said as 'white noise' as they would be less inclined to remember me as the blathering, erratic, crazy woman who makes them want to shake their head.

I remember when I was younger, I said I wanted to be that eccentric lady old lady who lived at the top of the hill. The one whom people think is just a little off but when it's important they always go to her to work things through. She's the secrets keeper. The safe place to unload. The unconditional love place to be heard, uplifted, work through or just recharge. And I tell ya nothing makes me feel better than being that person... but... sometimes the secrets keeper needs a secrets keeper, kwim? A leaning post. A place that when her heart feels heavy she can just open up. Sift through the crap, weather it real or imagined.

Sometimes it's lonely being the secrets keeper. It makes my heart hurt sometime, both physically and figuratively. Don't get me wrong I'm not wishing I was other than what I am. It is my souls path and it's where I feel like I'm the truest me.

I just wanted to remind people to think about it. Find you secrets keeper and give them a gentle hug, look into the souls of there eyes and smile your acceptance. No words are necessary between souls. Intent will hold that link open and the meaning behind it will flow through.

If you ARE a secrets keeper...

This is my hands gently cupping your face looking passed the outer you the rest of the world sees. Looking deep into you. Acknowledging the Namaste that occurs.

This is me drawing you closer into an embrace. The kind that makes you put your head down on their shoulder and cry if you need to. Because unconditional love is there. You need not be other than what you are. A safe place to just be... right here... right now... just be. Exactly as you are.

This is me whispering in you ear. "It's alright. We are all fallible and sometimes the heart overfloweth... with heart ache. Let it go. I'm here and it's safe. Let it go. Now feel your heart overfloweth... with acceptance, guidance, strength and humility. Love who you are. Because I certainly LOVE who you are"

This is me letting you go to put your hand to my heart and my hand to yours. Be you. It's what the world is waiting for.

Sometimes there needs to be a moment of silence so you can hear what your soul is telling you... what is your soul telling you?

This weeks intentions...

My goals this week are the same as last week... and that's OK.

-Keep the flylady routines going.

-Make at least two sweaters by Saturday for my etsy shop. I fixed my serger... had to call in re-enforcements though. My mom came and saved the day, AGAIN! Oh right, and again and again! It's been a week of learning for me. Breath in... breath out... relax. That was my mantra last week. I think I could probably build my own serger if I needed to now. Probably even out of tooth picks! AND IT WOULD ROCK, I TELL YOU! Oh wait, sorry, breath in... breath out... relax. Ahhhhhhh, sorry about that. Must still have some residual frustration ;-P

-Surround myself with inspiring words. To help keep the flow going.

-My treat to myself (after I have finished the 2 sweaters) is continue painting my dream board.

-And most of all I need to remember... I am exactly where I'm suppose to be, in a place of "concentrated effort".
My newest creation:-D I'm surprised it finally came together after the Great Serger War;-P

Here is a started collection for my next baby. The picture doesn't do it justice. That variegated purple has some yummy silver-ish yarn in it I can't wait to use it.

And yes that is a Storm Trooper laser gun. It's on lone to me by my 4 year old. Because I have heard from very reliable resources that the rebel alliance is gathering troops and could attack at any moment. It pays to be prepared people, safety first.

And here it is the beginning of my dream board painting. See I wasn't fibbing. I started and everything. This is also a small peek into my art room. Yes, I know it's a mess but I prefer to call it creative genius at work ;-)

This week

I'm taking an e-course with Lisa at visionary moms and one of the things we are to do was to post what we were doing this week to work towards our dream because as she said A little public accountability goes a long way... Hmmm, so here I am throwing this out there. I know I already kind of wrote this but this is my ACTUAL "to do" list. And I know this doesn't sound like much but trust me when you have 7 children at home with you (summer holidays) "me" time is limited.

This week...



-Keep the flylady routines going. Doing so makes room for so much more in my life. Not just physically but mentally to.

-Make at least two sweaters by Saturday for my etsy shop. This maybe a bigger challenge than first thought as my serger is attempting to commit mutiny... this could get ugly folks. You may want to shield your eyes for this one.

-Surround myself with inspiring words. To help keep the flow going. (In case you didn't know this, Jen Lemen is blogging again! Yes, all is right in the world again!!!!!!!)

-My treat to myself (after I have finished the 2 sweaters) is start painting my dream board. I've already sketched it out and I love it. I hope I can paint what my heart is whispering in my ear. I'm thinking of that TED talk that Elizabeth Gilbert. You know... showing up for the moment anyways. What comes through, comes through... but at least I present and prepared to give it my best.


Remember...
“Our truest life is when we are in dreams awake.” Henry David Thoreau

Being in to moment

See this picture? This is my 4 year old making a dirt angel. This is what the moment called him to do and it was perfect. I laughed at the silliness of it at first but now that I've had some time to reflect upon it it brings up some surprising things for me.

Why don't I do more of that? No not dirt angels;-P but allowing myself to be swept away in the moment. This next week I am opening myself up to esty and seeing what comes of it, take some time to think on the many insightful this from Jen Lemen, focus on my visionary mom list, do my flylady missions , but most importantly... be in the moment! Let the creative energy flow through me and enjoy where it leads me.

I've stated my intentions, I'm committing to them, now lets see what the universe has in store for me:-D

Todays Inspiration

What do you do when you find beautiful art? What do you do when your house is full of it and yet you can't stop creating it or collecting it? There is so much out there it's crazy. This afternoon over a cup of tea I found some more I love it and had to share some. I'm new to Monica's blog but I can already tell I'll be there more often. I like finding new pieces (new to me anyways) to look at. It helps to inspire me. What things are inspiring you today?

The story

Now here's the story that goes with this painting.

The picture is like most pictures from that time, not much expression from the subjects. The small canvas represents looking closer at it as does the writing. You have to look closer to read it. Many things upon closer inspection aren't what the seem. As with this.

These are my great grand parents. My ggma had a rough time before she met my ggpa. She was shuffled around between foster homes. Foster homes at that time weren't what they are today. They were basically work houses for children. The kind of life were my ggma used to wrap her feet in newspaper to work in the fields because she didn't have shoes. (until the day she died if she wasn't in bed she had her shoes on, and NEVER took them off). She didn't see any of her siblings once in those many years. It was a very lonely 9 years. But then she met my ggpa and life got better in so many ways. Even though they were raising their children through the depression, any given night of the week they had 11 or more extra people at there dinner table. They may not have been rich but they were more than willing to share what they had.

They were completely and totally in love and others were drawn to them. But then my ggpa died and without going into specifics life got incredibly difficult again without him. A beautiful story with heartache, bliss and heartbreak.

When I was little I couldn't say great grandma, so I called her "Grandma the Great" And it suck. Everyone called her that, even the ones she wasn't related to. She was such a sweet lady. I miss her a lot. It was nice to do this painting of them and revisit these feelings.