Thinking out loud
Today I'm going to pretend that it's only me that reads this and leak out a deeper irrational part of me. The reason that at times I "hold my cards close to the chest". Cause you never know who's peeking over your shoulder, right? kidding;-P
Sometimes I find people listen too closely to what I say. For a moment taking it all in. Wondering how I work, like they are trying to figure me out. Then there's always that moment when the vale lifts and the judgements start. It's inevitable I realize. Part of human nature. But I don't like feeling exposed to that. Making it hard for me to open up and work through my thoughts and feelings. Sometimes I wish people would remember what I've said as 'white noise' as they would be less inclined to remember me as the blathering, erratic, crazy woman who makes them want to shake their head.
I remember when I was younger, I said I wanted to be that eccentric lady old lady who lived at the top of the hill. The one whom people think is just a little off but when it's important they always go to her to work things through. She's the secrets keeper. The safe place to unload. The unconditional love place to be heard, uplifted, work through or just recharge. And I tell ya nothing makes me feel better than being that person... but... sometimes the secrets keeper needs a secrets keeper, kwim? A leaning post. A place that when her heart feels heavy she can just open up. Sift through the crap, weather it real or imagined.
Sometimes it's lonely being the secrets keeper. It makes my heart hurt sometime, both physically and figuratively. Don't get me wrong I'm not wishing I was other than what I am. It is my souls path and it's where I feel like I'm the truest me.
I just wanted to remind people to think about it. Find you secrets keeper and give them a gentle hug, look into the souls of there eyes and smile your acceptance. No words are necessary between souls. Intent will hold that link open and the meaning behind it will flow through.
If you ARE a secrets keeper...
This is my hands gently cupping your face looking passed the outer you the rest of the world sees. Looking deep into you. Acknowledging the Namaste that occurs.
This is me drawing you closer into an embrace. The kind that makes you put your head down on their shoulder and cry if you need to. Because unconditional love is there. You need not be other than what you are. A safe place to just be... right here... right now... just be. Exactly as you are.
This is me whispering in you ear. "It's alright. We are all fallible and sometimes the heart overfloweth... with heart ache. Let it go. I'm here and it's safe. Let it go. Now feel your heart overfloweth... with acceptance, guidance, strength and humility. Love who you are. Because I certainly LOVE who you are"
This is me letting you go to put your hand to my heart and my hand to yours. Be you. It's what the world is waiting for.
Sometimes there needs to be a moment of silence so you can hear what your soul is telling you... what is your soul telling you?