Saturday, January 08, 2005

Namastae at 8 months.

Good morning everyone!Isn't she so cute? don't you just want to pick her up and snuggle her?
Well I had a difficult parenting moment, hopefully I handled it ok. Just after the kids came home from school, these 2 boys' get dropped off in my driveway and the car drives away. They look like they are about Blake's age so I ask, "Blake, do you know this guys?"
"Oh yah," he says "I forgot they were coming over."
I'm like "Pardon me? I don't believe I was asked." (which really wasn't a big deal but we had guests coming over already)
And then they arrive at the door. My eyes almost bugged out of my head! Theses boys' were Trouble with a capital 'T'. I know one of there parents and you can't get much more trouble than that.
Now before people start yelling and throwing things at me, just listen first. First of all I am a firm believer that each person should be judged as an individual and children should never be had accountable for their parents misdeeds... "BUT"
One of the boys' Blake used to go to school with and he was READLY bad. And of course Blake thought he was really fun and they became best friends in class. But luckily he moved away. But lately Blake had been talking about this "N" boy who is always getting into trouble.
Have you figured out where this is going yet? Yup, Bingo! The same kid!
But I somehow got to take the high road on this one without looking like a meany. I said, "Blake they can't stay we already have guests coming over. Next time arrange it ahead of time and then there won't be disappointments like this."
Well they leave and I waste no time talking to Blake about it. I tried to choose my words very carefully. It felt to me like this was an important moment, were if I pushed to hard(because of parental concern, of course), he would just get mad and push back of do it behind my back. I said, "Blake, is that the"N" you've been talking about? The one that is always getting into trouble?"
"Yes." He says.
"I'm sorry Blake but you aren't allowed to hang out with him outside of school." I get the usual "What! Why?"
"If you take a moment to think about it I'm sure that you already know why. Blake I'm your mom and it's my job to make sure that the people around you are people that I feel (for the most part) are going to make safe and appropriate choices. And "N" has already proven that he is not one of those people.. Blake you are very lucky to have a lot of friends that are a lot of fun and so you don't need to be around someone like this. " He was about to interrupted but I put up my hand and said, "I'm sure there is some really neat things about him and that he can be fun but like I said you have some really great friends and you don't need to be abound some who is going to get into trouble."
He was upset but oddly enough he didn't have a spas like I thought he was going to and within minutes the whole thing was forgotten about.
Later in life (actually sooner rather that later) this will be the kid who smokes, does pot, steals, ect., ect. Why do I say that? His family and life is surrounded by this (and worse). Now ordinarily I would look at him as an individual but when, since before the age on 10, he is already making these bad choices.... All I can do is wish him luck and keep Blake busy else where.
I will not apologies for this decision, as I know I did the right thing but I hope I don't have to do this again anytime soon, it has made me feel bad and judgmental. Posted by Hello


Blogger Marcy said...

Hey Girl...hope it is still okay to check out your Blog??
Wondered why you up and left us?? Miss you ya know!!
I love your up to date..Blake is A handsome devil!!!
Nam is a cutie!!!
Drop me a line will ya???
And thanks for the push visit me if you like....
Happy New Year and bigggg HUGS!

8:42 a.m.  

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